Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Tips: Asking Her Out & First Date

For some men, making a good impression is one of the trickiest things to do when asking a woman out or taking her out for the first time. Many guys feel like they have to put up a front to impress a woman, and others feel like women should like them unconditionally for being who they are. The truth is, guys should be who they are, but also be thoughtful and considerate of their date.

The good news is, if you do your best on a date, you're most likely going to get a positive response from a woman. If she said yes to your date in the first place, the odds are already in your favor. But if you haven't asked her yet...here are some important things to consider:

Things to Remember When Making Your Move
1. Fresh Breath - if you don't got it...you go get it. And yes, this could be a deal breaker, even if you just ate street tacos with way too much onion...for all she knows, you smell like that ALL the time. Not good.

2. Cologne - is a magic love potion. You should swear by it, because we can be attracted to guys just for the fact that they smell amazing (Ask your female friends which ones they like).

3. If you have no openers -a nice compliment will do (it's straightforward and will always be received well).

4. RELAX - Worst thing that will happen is she says no thanks...and most girls will give you kudos for being brave enough to ask (although you'll never know it). If she doesn't, she's a d-bag, and who wants that? Not you.

5. Get her digits or her facebook...don't expect her to ask you for it. She's looking for a man...a real man...and that's you.

6. Be clear - and call a spade a spade. If it's a date you want, then ask her on one. "Hanging out" is not a date, and will not be received as one. So don't be surprised if you go in for the kill and she gives you cheek. But if you wanna hold off on a date and get to know her (if she's some random girl), then facebook is probably the best conversation platform.

Once you've secured your spot with miss hottie, you don't want to mess it all up. The first date is always the benchmark that women will look to when they are deciding whether or not you're a good guy and your intentions are honest. Here are some things to remember for this special occassion:

The First Date
1. See above (1-4)...they still apply and are VERY IMPORTANT.

2. Always compliment your date, because she spent A LOT of time getting ready. So if she looks stunning, do not hold back, let her know. She will have a lot more fun on the date if she feels great.

3. Chivalry, Chivalry and oh yeah Chivalry - Opening doors, pulling out her seat for her, and letting her order first are all gestures that make a woman feel special. Being a gentleman is never overrated, a woman will most likely appreciate (and reciprocate) any extra effort you put into your date. Don't overdo it though, constantly saying "my lady"... is unnecessary and frankly a little creepy.

4. Hand Holding is Awkward Before a Date (if you don't know her that well) - Now we think it's cute that you want to display your affection, but if we barely know you, it's not a good move to hand hold. It just feels like an obligation more than something we are ready to do. Now, if things are moving along really well on the date, and you share excellent chemistry, then hand holding may be perfectly appropriate. Give her the the chance to see what you're about and definitely read her body language to see if she wants to go there. Odds are if she's walking really close to you, like almost bumping into you, that's a sure sign that she wants to hold your hand too.

5. Don't sit and stare - You must keep the conversation flowing and if you have absolutely nothing to talk about, then you asked this girl out for the wrong reasons. Do a little research ahead of time and save yourself from awkwardness.

6. Do something interesting - dinner and a movie is almost always a sure thing, but dinners can feel like interviews and you can't really talk that much on your way to a movie. Some good alternatives: wine bar, museums, concerts, picnic, sporting event etc.

7. Pick up the tab - Now I know that some guys think going dutch is cool and modern, but honestly guys...it's not sexy. Sometimes a girl genuinely won't mind picking up her share, but most times, it's a silent expectation. Even if she insists that you split the tab...the odds are she is testing you. Don't fail that test. There will be times in the future, where its perfectly appropriate to accept her offer, but doing it on a first date is a sure way of telling her that she's not worth your time.

8. If it feels right, go ahead and kiss her. Again, if you're really into this girl and you want to kiss her, observe her body language and the chemistry between you two. Lots of laughing, touching, bumping, playful glances are big flashing signs that she's into you. But if you're not seeing any sparkle in her eyes, it's just better to hug it out and say your goodbyes. And that's not always a bad sign, some girls just need a little more time before they feel comfortable with kissing you.

9. Do not ask her to come back to your place (assuming you want to see her again) - end the date and walk away. And conversely, don't ask to come  into her place. There are plenty of other times when this will be appropriate, but just leave the good memories as they are, and don't invite potentially awkward endings.

Hope these tips help you :)
If anyone has more to add, please do! <3

Thanks for Reading!

1 comment:

  1. Steph, seriously I was laughing so hard at the line about bad breath. Your writing is so honest and absolutely true. You have such great insight, I am very tempted to send this post to every guy I have gone on a date with and also include "Oh and btw, this article might explain why I haven't called you back." haha

    Love you & this blog :D