Friday, February 18, 2011

Behind the Text: What You're Really Saying

Receiving text messages from people we don't know very well, can leave us feeling a little confused or put-off at times, especially when you don't know their intentions. There are so many miscommunications that can occur during a friendly exchange that even when we think we are saying something harmless, it can be taken in the wrong way.

 I think we've all been there when we said something that was meant to be funny and it came off as mean, or something serious came off as sarcastic, or something funny came off as creepy. We need to realize that the person on the other side is not a mind reader; they can't see what you're all about except through what you are directly saying. Let's clear up some of vibes you don't want to send and the one you do!

Flirty Texts

My lovely friend Bailey recently posted:

"I have been recently told that inserting a "happy face" in a text message translates as flirting? Is this true? My God, if so that means I've been flirting with my entire list of contacts!"

The answer to this depends who you're smiling at! Not all smileys are deliberately flirty, because much like my friend Bailey, I smiley at everyone. Now...I said deliberately for a reason, because I can see how Hey you :) seems to be expressing more excitement to the person in question than Hey you. So, the rule of thumb is, if you just met a guy/girl and don't know them that well....then yeah you are flirting. But even so, the receiver shouldn't assume it's a sign of interest, because being flirty could just be part of a person's character. A little flirt don't hurt ;)

Sexy Texts or "Sexts"

Men can let their imaginations and their fingers run a little wild when they send stuff that's quite scandaloso....but guys...let's avoid the creeper zone and stay in the keeper zone. Here are some things that make us cringe with embarrassment for you.

Sending us topless photos and um....bottomless photos. 
Maybe you are pretty good looking and you're packin a chipotle burrito...and you're more than proud of it. Sending us these photos DOES NOT turn us on. It makes us laugh. So if laughter is your aim, then by all means, snap away! But having been on the receiving end of these photos...more than once...I feel obligated to share this information with you--it's not sexy. Why not? Because women are not the visual creatures you want to turn her on? Give her a massage or feed her some chocolate dipped strawberries. Boom.

Don't Sext Before we've done the deed.
It's fine to send texts of "You looked great today" or "You're so sexy." But let's not go into what you want to do to us before we've even decided you're worth going there for. Nothing turns a girl on more than a guy who seems like he's not even thinking of sex (even if he is). Reverse psychology guys...get with it! Talking about it via text builds the anticipation...but not in a good way. It makes a guy seem too eager for things to go down...and eager beavers never win.

Don't hide behind your text
If you are going to send sexy or romantic texts in the first place guys/ladies...please own what you're saying. There are some out there who say will say certain things they think their guy/lady wants to hear, but when it comes down to it, they are all talk and no action. Good rule of thumb: don't say anything in a text that you wouldn't be comfortable saying in person...or else you look like you have a total Jekyll and Hyde thing going on there...not cool.

The Best Text
Good morning/afternoon (Insert flattering adjective), I hope you're having an amazing day :)

-This text always puts a smile on my face and starts my day off right. This will drive a woman right into your arms, because it says you're thinking of her and you want her to know :) awwwww

<3 everyone for sharing their ideas and supporting mah blog
Thank you! (and special thanks to Miss Bailey)

P.S. Check out my friend Bailey's blog for artistic inspiration and authentic style "Pop Rocks & Peacoats"


  1. I agree with all you said, especially don't say what you cannot say in person. And guys yes all girls love it when you send them texts or love messages when they least expect it. =)

  2. Steph! Thank you SO much for this. Such a great post :D I'm sharing on Twitter!