Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Why He's Getting the Girl and You're Not

I can't tell you how many times guys have said "Girls don't ever go for the nice guy, they always want guys who treat them like crap." These guys I will refer to as "The D-bags"
Now guys...i'm not going to debate you on this, because there is much truth to what you say. But let's be fair now...you don't exactly go for the good girls either. I can only speak on behalf of women, and consider what it is about the D-bags that make us melt: 

1. D-bags got game - they know how to enter, have, and leave a conversation seamlessly, while making a woman feel at ease as they work their magic. Making a woman feel like she's known you forever makes you golden, because she'll already have a sense that she can trust you. Of course, not everyone's a natural, and many guys need to practice! And Yes...practice means rejection... and no, rejection isn't fun, but if you hone your conversation skills, you can score big time.

2. D-bags have mastered the art of listening - they understand women in a way the good guys don't. They have a great talent in remembering what we say and bringing it up later, which is a subtle gesture, but it makes us think wow....he's actually listening?? What a concept! Because let's face it, a lot of guys go on autopilot when we're talkin their ears off.

3. D-bags know how to DRESS- and yes this is VERY important, I can't stress how important this is, because some of you blatantly disregard fashion choices. I'm sounding the loud buzzer on this one, because it might be one of the most single important things you can do to enhance your love life. We ladies like to picture ourselves on your arm and imagine what we will look like together (for social reasons), and if your look is kind of embarrassing...we might just look the other way. We women spend A LOT of time on our looks and hygiene, so it's quite insulting when a man who doesn't do the same thinks he has the prowess to make a successful pass at us.

Bella Mavromatis projecting rejection like a pro.
This is where I've seen many a man get painfully rejected...you've probably seen it as well...the man goes up to the woman, tries to start a conversation, she rolls her eyes and grabs her friend and walks away. All of us women have done that at some point...and it has everything to do with the way you look. Shallow? Hell yes....we didn't spend three hours getting ready so five minute man could get a taste of all this goodness.

So c'mon guys...splurge a little on your wardrobe and fix your hair. I promise every woman you come in contact with will notice and compliment you to death. Just look at male celebrities that women are in love with...that is the best indicator of what you should be wearing. I want you to think Bradley Cooper in the Hangover (major panty dropping outfit). Do it.

4. D-bags can get a girl heated - believe it or not, but some men use emotions to their advantage...whether it's through debate, some snarky comment or some hit to our ego. Now, it's a bit of a psychological trick, but guys who present some sort of challenge to women, ultimately come off as more attractive. We might become emotionally invested in trying to convince you that you should be nicer to us! I mean...it's a total douche move...but when mastered will work wonders.

I will say that the nice guy appeal will work for some men, but if it's not working for you, then a D-bag-esque approach might help. The truth is, women want to feel like they've won something special, not that it was handed to them on a silver platter. It's similar to how guys love the chase, but different in that we don't want to chase you, we want to lure you in.

A word of caution: use this sparingly...or else you will come off looking like a HUGE A-hole.

5. D-bags play the bad boy card- and yes, this is probably the most douche-y thing that shouldn't work, but does work. It doesn't necessarily mean you have to have a bunch of tattoos, ride street bikes or sell drugs, but something that suggests you have a manly edge to you will help your image tremendously. Women want manly men, and while we also love a sensitive guy...the edge must be there, or else your sexuality will be questioned and she'll give you her number for shopping purposes.

If you're reading the above and thinking WTF...she should like me for who I am! I'm a catch and a nice guy! Then I would have to say, again, it works both ways. I could wear sweatpants, my comfy sweater and my hair in a ballerina bun and rock that comfy look all day long....but no guy is gonna wanna treat my inner sexiness to a fancy dinner. Learning how to attract takes a lot of trial and error, but once you get it down, you can cut in line in front of the real D-bags and take what should be yours ;)

Much <3 to the nice guys at heart and to all who read this blog :D

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